My Review: 4/5
It all starts with a kiss…….
He- I have a broken past and I don’t believe in
relationship. I play in a band and I am a high-school drop-out. What sort of
guys do you hang out with?
She- I am a final year student at Harvard. I don't hang
out with guys. But I guess the times I do, it's guys with ambition. Guys who
wear suit. Guys who will end up in the Senate or as a CEO. Umm... guys who my
father would approve of. My father and I don't get along, but don't ever
mistake that for me not having perfect for him. He's a hero- he's my hero. But
I have never quite been able to live up to him, so at some point, I just
stopped trying and went my own way.
He- Must have been fascinating, travelling
bunch of different countries?
She- I don't know about all that.
It's not a normal life, moving to a new country every few years. Kind of lonely
sometimes. You leave behind everyone you know and start over. I don't know if
I'll ever get married, but if I do.... not sure if my husband will understand
my ambition and not sure it's the right life for kids.
He- Would you like
to have a dinner with me?
She- Just
once because I don’t believe in love anymore. I was very young when I fell in
love but I still remember what it was like to have my heart torn out,
to have my dreams smashed. To have scandal nearly tear my family apart.
I
cried and cried. I was so scared, but no one would help. And all I could think
was- I wanted my mother. Yes, she told me that guy was not right for me. She saw
right through him from the beginning. I wanted to find her, and hug her, and
make all of this fear and pain go away. I wanted to go back to being her little
girl, and having her protect me and make everything better. No matter how much I might have wanted
that guy: I couldn't go
back there. Not now. Not ever.
Then he and she both go to their own
lives. He never gets over her so decides to write a song for her.
She- I sat back in the chair and
sipped my coffee, crossing one arm across my chest. My head was still
hurting, and thinking about him made it hurt worse. For the first time in a long
time, I found myself having really mixed feelings about a guy. He was fun to be
around, but he was confusing as hell. And not exactly welcoming. Was I just
lonely? It had been so long since I'd allowed myself to really care about
anyone. Sometimes you go looking and don't find anything, and sometimes it
slaps you upside the head like a good Irish Catholic mother.
He- I never wanted a relationship but lately,
I'd started to realize that even though I was around people all the time, I
just felt so damn alone.
She- You are not an
easy guy to figure out and I am not interested enough to try. It’s just last
night you were all, stay the hell away, and in morning you were friendly.
He- Sometimes
losing control can be wicked awesome. And sometimes it’s a disaster. Sometimes
it can take your whole life and rip it to pieces.
She- I don't know why this
bothered me. It's not like we were a thing. It's not like we were anything. But
you'd switched moods so quickly, from anger and hostility last night, to open
and laughing this morning, and now you were cold. I didn't get it, I didn't
like it, and I was starting to not like you.
He- I love you
She- I don’t love
you. I don’t even like you. I am a little different and isolated. But also a
hero. And even though I start out very isolated, I come out of my shell. Which
is something I learnt to do long ago.
He- This is going
to sound like a cliché. And it sucks like nothing else in the world. But if I
love you….I have to give you what you need. Even if that means letting you go.
Yes, truth sucks.
He then sings of his longing, of her refusal,
and of his precious hope that if he let her go, if he kissed her goodbye and
watched her go, that she’s eventually come home.
She- It almost hurt
to watch the awkward painful interchange between us. This was too much. Too
much emotions, too much pain, just too much. I needed to get back to my room,
get a good book to read, and escape. Get grounded again; get back in control of
feelings that were twisted through me like a storm, tearing down leaves and
building and leaving me directionless and confused. No matter how much my heart
yearned for him, no matter how much my body wanted him, my mind knew that he
was a mistake.
He- I don’t want
to lose her. No one has ever meant this much to me. Then I have to do the thing she needs. And maybe she’ll come to me. If she doesn't…….well….it wasn't meant to be. But I wasn't going to let her go without telling her exactly how
I felt.
She- It reminded me
that being dependent on people you love is nothing but a crutch. It reminded me
that the inevitable result of love is heartbreak. It reminded me that the other
side of those overwhelming emotions was death. And I wasn't willing to go
there. I wasn't willing to do that harm to myself ever again. Never again would
I watch my own lifeblood pouring out of me into a bathtub because I needed
people in my life. It was bitter, like dust, a bare moonscape inside my heart
instead of flowers or bunnies or hearts or whatever the hell other people
wanted to feel like. And it was mine.
He- I love
you, and I want you to be happy, I want you to have the life you deserve. And
if that means … if that means I have to stand here and watch you walk away,
then I’ll do it. I won’t be happy about it. It’ll break my heart. But … if
that’s what you really need, then we’re done. Before you go, you need to know- I’d do anything
for you. Even kiss you goodbye and watch you go.
She- Can you put up with me? I am crazy half the time. You know
I’ll pull away and get angry when things are tough. I make my own home, wherever
that is and home’s where the people I love are. It’s the things that matter to
me, and holding on to them and taking care of them. And remember- ‘I will love you, pamper you, care for you and give you everything I can.
I will make you feel on cloud nine with my love. I will make you feel like the
best man on this planet but the moment I feel avoided, unwanted, ignored, sidelined,
I will be gone and I will never feel the same again. I will quietly move on.’
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